||[May. 26th, 2005|02:47 pm]
i am super duper bored today and no one seems to be in the mood to email so i guess its time for livejournal.
got up early today and went to the fleetcenter to get a braclet to let me line up for U2 this afternoon without actually having to wait in line all day.
do most people say "in line" or "on line?"
i've been thinking about myself a lot lately, in terms of my ambitions, what i want to do with myself, etc...and i've been wondering why i have such a hard time making changes in my life. its weird. it isn't that i don't have ideas as to what i'd like to do, i just have a very hard time actually making the move, even if it is something simple like applying for a job. i know rationally i should not be afraid of rejection. i wouldn't be any worse off than i am right now. but yet i still freeze up on this kinda stuff. i found a few jobs that looked interesting a few weeks ago but never took any action. stupid. at least if it was something where i could conceivably end up worse than before i would have justification for being scared.
i was proud when i got the band started last fall...despite it not being exactly what i want to do, i took the initiative to meet new people and get something going. however that was a long time ago, i need to get something else going. i also need to be more assertive in terms of coming up with music to bring to the table. it all comes back to complaining about things i can change...if i am not crazy about the songs we're doing i need to come up with my own and make it happen. it is my band after all, the guys defer to me sometimes despite dave being clearly more talented and experienced. its kinda cool :P
I wish it would stop raining.
We're having a BBQ this weekend...should be good times, as always. Mmmm charred food.
I think I'm going to go tie up some loose ends since I'm leaving early for the show :)